At a time like this, when moments of happiness are solely when you put your arm around me and give me the same bitter-sweet (mood dependent) kiss that can only mean one thing: it's not working out, I can't help but wondering in what situation would I be happier- with or without you. And it's not just about the breaking up part, it's everything. We can't function together nor seperate, and that kiss metioned says and symbolizes, in a way, the thing in which we just can't own up to- we are clueless about what happens next or the specific moment when we both would be able to say that we're only friends and actually mean it for a change, thus, we're still "together". And yes, the quotation marks bother me as well yet I'm not that sure anymore if I would be happier if we'd gotten back together.

I hate this unceratinty but I know that knowing better won't change my mood, so you better be satisfied with what you have, even if it's the benefit of the doubt, right?

Is that moment of joy when you gently rub your nose against my face really worth crying all the way home sometimes? Am I still the same person?

Answers and more... well, never. but don't tell anyone.